What's Your Name?

I was momentarily stumped tonight as I played with my youngest son who is 3 years old. Like his older brother with Asperger's Syndrome (AS), he loves trains. He and I were playing trains together just the two of us which is a rare and special treat for both of us. At one point, my youngest took a train and blocked the tunnel my train was about to enter. In a deep voice, this train asked, "What's your name?"

Although I could not immediately recall the trains name, I hesitated answering for another reason. I realized that I had never been invited by one of my children to truly interact during pretend play. My son with AS plays pretend all the time but his idea of pretend is usually solitary and, although sometimes interactive, it is limited to very strict rules that he prescribes. My youngest son's question was so open ended that it struck me as unusual but then I realized that, no, this was the play of a neurotypical child and I had simply forgotten. I was floored by something so, dare I say, normal then floored yet again that I hadn't realized it had been missing.

Another aspect of this brief moment of play that struck me as unusual was that he was not reciting a show and reenacting it. His question was totally original (I should know since I might as well have a Master's Degree now in Fisher Price's transportation systems and their conveniently provided DVDs). This one, innocent question in the midst of play provided me with a profoundly new perspective about the nature of my children's play.

With my youngest as well as his twin, their playing together has reached a new level and I can't help but wonder how it will be received by my oldest son. My concern is that he'll reject it because it will violate his idea of what is correct. My hope is that perhaps he can learn how to play with his brothers at least for short spells in order to help him be more flexible and to adapt to other children's idea of play. If he can't, it won't be his fault and we'll adapt as we need to, but, if he can, a new world might just open up to him a little more. I can only hope.